alone, together.

feeling particularly lonely today.
That Guy hurt my feelings, i doubt his aware but i can't seem to shake it, now all i want to do is devour the cookie dough in the fridge.
i had been having a pretty good run and i haven't felt this way in awhile, stats were showing 80% only about 20% not...usually it was about 60/40... 60% not happy....40% happy.

i had plans tonight but as usual they went to shit.

i started talking to someone new on the dating website i'm on, first time in ages.
and his perfect.
older than me.
teacher (i always wanted to fuck the teacher when i was in school, a girl in my year actually did and i was super jealous but i was so fucking ugly when i was 14-15ish it never would have happened)
wears glasses.
like cats.
no all manly, but seems manly enough.
likes the same movies and music as me.

LOOKS LIKE KEVIN SMITH.
for realz, a total doppelganger, though not as large.
and he prefers curvy girls and likes redheads.

only fault i'm yet to come across is that he doesn't have much of a sweet tooth which is quite disappointing as i love to bake.

so yeah his really sweet.
i'm trying not to fuck it up.

we exchanged numbers and i was the first to message, i usually don't like doing that, don't want to across all desperate and too eager.
so after we said goodnight last night i decided i wouldn't be the one to message today so it will be interesting if he messages or not, if he doesn't, idk i can only assume i haven't crossed his mind...which would disappoint me.

but yeah not going to fuck this up.

like i said, i've actually felt happy lately and not so shit about myself (sans today) so i'm hoping finally i am reaping the rewards of that.
trying to keep negative thoughts at bay.

i hope i don't fuck it up.